Films about love and romance are ever-abundant, but movies that truly depict the lives of married people realistically are few and far between. These films don’t come too often, but they manage to capture the essence of what it’s like to be in a committed relationship and the hardships that come with that in a way that is relatable to everyone. Movies like these don’t try to force an opinion, but rather just exist as an exhibition of reality without judgment. A lot of these movies have even gone on to win Academy Awards and been celebrated by the masses, some going as far as to be revered as classics.
Such films are crafted by the hands of someone who knows what it’s like to be or have been in that situation, often pulling inspiration from the very source that hurt or inspired them. Although not all realistic movies about marriage are dark and bleak, unfortunately, for some reason, a lot of them are. Whatever that says about the institution, these are the most honest and realistic movies about marriage.
Updated August 17, 2022: If you love honest romance movies, you’ll be happy to know we’ve updated this article and added more suggestions for films that showcase the realism of marriage.
11 Marriage Story (2019)
Netflix
Noah Baumbach’s intense relationship drama was heavily based on his own experiences when he divorced Jennifer Jason Leigh in 2013. The meticulously-crafted film puts the dying relationship between Nicole and Charlie Barber (played by Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver, respectively) under the microscope, closely examining their marriage that’s falling apart while they try to keep their family together.
Marriage Story received critical acclaim and was, per Variety, nominated in six categories at the 92nd annual Academy Awards and the 77th Golden Globe Awards, with Laura Dern (who plays Nora Franshaw, Nicole’s lawyer) winning Best Supporting Actress at both ceremonies. Baumbach made a film that’s deeply personal to him, yet is still relatable to anyone who’s going through a similar situation. The film takes no sides in portraying one person to be “better” than the other, but instead just shows the audience the situation as it is. It’s the raw emotion running throughout the film and its performances that keep people on the edge of their seats.
10 Amour (2012)
Les Films du Losange
Amour was screened at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival, where it won the Palme d’Or Award, and was nominated for five Oscars when it was released in 2012, earning director Michael Haneke the award for Best Foreign Language Film at the 85th Academy Awards. This film sees a marriage put to the test in an inevitable sort of way. It’s a view of marriage at the end of the line after a long life spent together. It’s a heartbreaking look at co-dependency and the enduring persistence of love when faced with the worst possible outcomes.
Loosely based on Haneke’s experience of witnessing his aunt suffer a degenerative stroke, the film follows Anne and George, two retired piano teachers who have spent their lives together and still have a happy marriage. After a stroke and a failed operation leave Anne half paralyzed, George dedicates himself as her caregiver. The demanding care for his wife puts George to the test as he’s forced to watch his wife slowly wither away. Amour is a heartbreaking look at love and death, and forces viewers to ask themselves, “What will happen when we get old, and who will take care of us?” It’s awful, yet honest, which is what makes Amour one of the most emotional and heartbreaking romances ever made.
9 Fences (2016)
Bron Creative
Directed by Denzel Washington, who also played the lead character, Fences was nominated for four Academy Awards and took home one: Viola Davis’s first Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Based on the August Wilson play of the same name, the film takes place in times of segregation and social injustices. It follows a Black family headed by a domineering father, worn down by a life and full of contempt and shortcomings. While not specifically a film about marriage, the union between Rose and Troy is a crucial focal point in the narrative.
In the beginning, Troy has a loving marriage with his wife Rose, but a tense one with his son Cory. Feeling stagnant in life, he finds solace in another woman, but is forced to tell Rose when he learns that his mistress is pregnant. In Fences’s toughest scene, Rose calls Troy out on his hypocrisies and reminds him that she dedicated her life to making him happy, and he wasn’t the only one who made sacrifices. Troy essentially destroys his family because he kept his feelings bottled up for years until his wife and son were caught in the inevitable eruption. It’s both a harsh look at a man’s self-destruction, but also an examination of the consequences of selfishness in marriage and a failure to communicate.
8 Revolutionary Road (2008)
Paramount Vantage
Based on Richard Yates’ novel of the same name, Sam Mendes’ Revolutionary Road was a film that reunited actors Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and Kathy Bates since their last on-screen performance together in James Cameron’s Titanic, though it couldn’t be more different from that epic success. While it was nominated in three categories at the 81st annual Academy Awards and received critical acclaim, it earned a modest $76 million against a $35 million budget.
Revolutionary Road tells the story of Frank and April Wheeler, a couple in a struggling relationship in the 1950s. In an attempt to revive their relationship, April proposes that they move to Paris, where she can pursue her dream of becoming an actress and become the breadwinner of the family, while Frank can take the time to find out what his passions are. The undying question of whether they will make it to Paris forms the rest of this narrative. Roger Ebert cites this film as being the sad ending to DiCaprio and Winslet’s characters in Titanic, because this is what happens to marriages built on romance and romance alone.
7 Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012)
Envision Media Arts
Upon first glance, 2012’s rom-com starring Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones would seem like an unlikely fit for a list of realistic movies about marriages, but one watch of this flick will undoubtedly change any naysayer’s mind. Instead of traditional romantic comedies with the usual meet-cutes, Celeste and Jesse Forever starts with the couple already broken up.
Nominated for Best First Screenplay at the 28th Independent Spirit Awards and in two categories at the 13th Black Reel Awards, Celeste and Jesse Forever was co-written by Jones with her writing partner Will McCormack, and tells the story of a separated couple in the process of getting divorced, who actively try to maintain a healthy friendship with each other while they seek out different potential partners. According to Rashida Jones in a conversation with Vanity Fair, the film is inspired by her real-life experiences of having friends where the woman who “has it all together” more often than not ends up with a man who is the exact opposite and tries to actively change his ways simply because they don’t get his lifestyle.
6 Scenes from a Marriage (1974)
Sveriges Radio
No list of realistic films about marriage is complete without Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage. This Swedish film (which was originally a miniseries) chronicles the years of love and hatred between Johan and Marianne (played by Liv Ullmann and Erland Josephson, respectively) is cited as being an influence for filmmakers such as Woody Allen and Richard Linklater, where the latter would go on to make one of the most realistic depictions of romance ever put to film.
Besides directing, Scenes from a Marriage was also written by Bergman, who pulled inspiration from his own experiences, including his 5-year relationship with his muse and frequent partner, Liv Ullmann. The film is hailed as “one of Bergman’s finest human portrayals,” made it into the Criterion Collection, and was also included in the 100 Greatest Foreign-Language Films list by BBC in 2018. A remake of the miniseries was released in 2021 on HBO and met with positive reviews from critics. It was developed, written and directed by Hagai Levi, and starred Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain.
5 The One I Love (2014)
Duplass Brothers Productions
Although not realistic in its premise, Charlie McDowell’s 2014 directorial debut starring Mark Duplass and Elisabeth Moss was most definitely realistic in its depiction of a defunct couple trying to save their failing marriage. The film dips its toes into the bizarre by including doppelgängers and magical force fields in order to vividly describe the abstract emotions going on between the couple, Ethan (Duplass) and Sophie (Moss), that would otherwise be impossible to comprehend outside of language.
It’s one of those movies that will leave audiences scratching their head at first, but once you’ve familiarized yourself with what’s going on, you’ll be sucked into the heart of the story in no time. Taking place almost entirely at a single location with only two actors, The One I Love proves how much one can do with very little. For a film of this scale, it does have a lot to say about relationships, identity, and fate.
4 A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Imagine Entertainment
Ron Howard’s movie about mathematical genius John Nash swept up big at the 74th Annual Academy Awards, winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Supporting Actress for Jennifer Connelley. It was also nominated in four other categories that same night (Best Actor, Best Film Editing, Best Makeup, and Best Original Score).
A Beautiful Mind tells the story of Nash, who works undercover for the government to combat a Russian plot against America. However, things don’t go as planned, as John’s mental state begins to crumble, causing tension between him and his family. The film exhibits a truthful depiction of what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone suffering from mental illness, and is only elevated by Russell Crowe’s portrayal of said character, who gives arguably the best performance of his career up to that point.
3 Minari (2020)
Plan B Entertainment
2020’s Minari captivated the hearts of millions when it was released. The film’s simple premise of a Korean family who moves to America in hope of finding a better life resonated with audiences everywhere, as it’s usually the most simplistic of things that speak the loudest. Written and directed by Lee Isaac Chung, Minari pulled no punches when it came to delivering vulnerable and honest emotions, especially regarding the tribulations of marriage and family. The film was nominated in six categories at the 93rd annual Academy Awards, with Youn Yuh-jung making Oscar history as the first Korean to ever win an Academy Award for acting when she won Best Supporting Actress for portraying the sweet and lovable grandmother, Soon-ja.
In an article published by the Los Angeles Times, director Lee Isaac Chung talked about how he came up with the idea to write Minari. In it, Chung explained that he reflected on a quote by novelist Willa Cather that read, “Life began for me, when I ceased to admire and began to remember,” and deeply resonated with it. It became the catalyst that became the driving force for this film, which resulted in one truly remarkable end-product that explores the difficulty of trying to maintain a relationship in stressful situations. Minari’s depiction of a family trying to make an honest living in a foreign land became an important story that needed to be told in the wake of the diversity movement to include more persons of color in the industry. This was further solidified with Steven Yeun’s nomination for Best Actor at the Oscar’s where a vast majority of the nominees that year were persons of color.
2 Blue Valentine (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Widely regarded as one of the most truthful and vulnerable film about relationships, Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine is a masterfully crafted and honest depiction of the tragedies of love. The film stars Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, who play a couple in a doomed relationship as we see flashbacks to times when they were head over heels for one another.
Williams was nominated for Best Actress at the 83rd annual Academy Awards and both Gosling and Williams were nominated for Best Actor and Actress respectively at the 68th Golden Globe Awards. Blue Valentine goes to great lengths to tell an emotionally complex and authentic film in a non-linear narrative, about two very different people who are forced to stay with one another because they have a child together. The film beautifully captures the sadness and disillusionment of a doomed relationship, and the noble beauty (and often futility) of trying to make it work, and is one that is guaranteed to be a certified tear-jerker by the time you reach the end of it.
1 The Before Trilogy (1995 - 2013)
Castle Rock Entertainment
Richard Linklater’s The Before Trilogy is the quintessential cinematic experience that depicts not just marriage, but the essence of romance itself honestly and realistically. These films follow Jesse and Céline (played by Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, respectively) as they become acquainted on a train where their relationship blooms into a budding romance up until their marriage life. Each installment is set night years apart from the other, giving us little glimpses into their lives spread across the span of 18 years.
The first entry of the trilogy, Before Sunriseholds a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and received critical acclaim with critics praising Hawke and Delpy’s chemistry and the casual style of dialogue that flows so naturally between the characters. The second and third entries, Before Sunset and Before Midnight, were met with equal and sometimes higher acclaim, earning nominations for Best Adapted Screenplay at the 77th and 86th annual Academy Awards. With a series covering the introduction, absence, marriage, and dissatisfaction of a relationship, the trilogy is arguably the greatest set of films about marriage and romance ever made.
