Reservoir Dogs was the movie that introduced Quentin Tarantino to Hollywood and the world. It was his first film, and from the opening scene in the diner, it showed that Quentin Tarantino had a great ear for dialogue, and could talk about anything (and didn’t like to tip). This movie about a bank heist (that we never see) gone wrong, was the perfect building block for Tarantino’s career.
In an interview on the ReelBlend podcast, Tarantino himself said that if he did a remake of Reservoir Dogs, it would be with an all-Black cast. With the idea of a remake in mind, let’s put on the song “Little Green Bag”, get creative, and think about who would look cool in a suit, walking in slow motion while the song blasts. Let’s decide who should be cast in a Reservoir Dogs remake:
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Officer Marvin Nash - Noah Centineo
Netflix
In a movie full of unlucky people, Officer Marvin Nash (Kirk Baltz) might be the unluckiest of all. He’s the cop that Mr. Blonde captures. He becomes the unfortunate lead of a torturing dance scene that ends as badly as you could imagine.
We believe Noah Centineo could play this role perfectly. The sweetness and romantic lead ideals we all see in him, thanks to his role in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, would make us feel empathy for him from the first moment, creating an even more scary and terrorizing sensation than in the original.
Mr. Brown - Steve Buscemi
Miramax Films
Mr. Brown (Quentin Tarantino) is not the biggest character in the original, as he only does two things worth mentioning in the movie: the monologue about Madonna and “Like a Virgin” at the diner, and dying.
For such a small role, what better than a cameo from someone we know can deliver the monologue: Steve Buscemi. In the movie, Mr. Brown was the youngest robber, but the age difference would not affect the role. It would also be a fun little wink and Easter egg to have one of the original’s actors playing the first role the director himself had.
Mr. Blue - Winona Ryder
Mr. Blue (Eddie Bunker) is another robber from the crew, the old guy in the group with fewer lines and incidence in the movie. For this role, and knowing how Tarantino always likes to bring back actors who had been out of the world of cinema for a while, but used to be icons, we believe Winona Ryder would be perfect for the role. We know she’s back on our TVs, but we all would like to see her being part of a Tarantino film, and using her innate sweetness to make us root for an evil person.
Joe Cabot - Don Cheadle
Warner Bros. Pictures
Joe Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) is the boss. The man with the plan. The head of the operation, who recruits the team. He’s smart, but tough enough that everyone respects his authority and accepts his every word, especially when they’re talking about the colors of each character’s name.
A man with gravitas, a personality that can play an understated tough guy? We know one: Don Cheadle. He has shown time and time again that he can do all kinds of genres, including being menacingly scary (Out of Sight). You’d believe that this team of robbers trusts him and follows his plan till the end.
Nice Guy Eddie - Tessa Thompson
Sony Pictures Releasing
Nice Guy Eddie (Chris Penn) is the son of Joe Cabot in the original. He can look like a clown, but if you do anything against him or his family, everything goes south in a second. That’s why we’re looking for someone who can change from Nice Guy Eddie to I’m Going to Kill You Eddie, and for us, that’s Tessa Thompson. In our book, she can do no wrong, and has shown enough different types of performances; the change from clown to menace at the drop of a hat would be totally believable.
Mr. Blonde - Jonah Hill
Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) is the true villain of the movie. As robbers, they all are on the other side of the law, but he’s a psychopath who enjoys violence and killing. He’ll shoot first and ask questions later. Or maybe he will keep shooting and never ask the questions.
For this role, we would need someone who could turn to 11 in a second, and that screams Jonah Hill to us. Hill would nail all of Mr. Blonde’s best moments, while giving the character a more goofy side in the scenes where he’s not with officer Nash. The change at the end would be even more crazy and terrifying.
Mr. Pink - Riz Ahmed
Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) is the character that steals the movie. Unapologetic and panicky, he talks too much when he gets scared, and doesn’t like to tip. Also, it looks like he is the only one who gets out alive. Although he had already been in Coen Brothers movies, this role changed Buscemi’s career for the better.
Who could be the new Mr. Pink? The answer is Riz Ahmed. He can get scared and panicky (Nightcrawler or The Night of) and has shown weird comical energy (Rogue One) that would work wonders for the comic relief character of the movie.
Mr. Orange - LaKeith Stanfield
Lionsgate
Mr. Orange (Tim Roth) is the most important character in Reservoir Dogs, although you wouldn’t know it if you only see the first ten minutes, as he’s simply bleeding to death. Through flashbacks, we discover that he’s an undercover cop, and the reason the heist has gone wrong. Mr. Orange has the better arc in the movie, from clueless undercover cop to part of the crew, he only reveals his true side when he shoots Mr. Blonde.
LaKeith Stanfield would be a perfect Mr. Orange. He can play scared, tough, absent-minded, sincere, and panicked, all at the same time. We could see in his eyes, the duality of the undercover cop and the criminal that starts to break as he’s bleeding profusely. How he’s starting to feel a connection with Mr. White and how in the end, he reveals who he is. Stanfield would do all this and make us empathize with him during every emotion of this process.
Mr. White - Sandra Bullock
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Reservoir Dogs would’ve never happened without Harvey Keitel. Tarantino told Empire that he received a call from the film star telling him: “Consider me in. Not only do I want to do it, I want to be one of the producers.” That’s one of the reasons that he has the biggest and best role in the movie as Mr. White. He’s a veteran criminal but can develop a father-son relationship with someone on the crew.
The new Mr. White would also have to be a big hitter, and the most famous actor in the cast. We believe it could be a great role for Sandra Bullock. She has already played a grifter in action in the past; she can have believable relationships with the rest of the cast (especially with Mr. Orange), and we believe she can sell the tough gal role every day of the week. This might even open new paths for her career; why not a John Wick-like franchise for her? That would be fun!
